Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs

Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat)
or endothermic (absorbs  heat)?


Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs
using Boyle's Law  that gas cools when it expands
and heats when it is compressed or some  variant.


One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time.
So we  need to know the rate at which souls are
moving into Hell and the rate  at which they are leaving.
I think that we can safely assume that once  a soul gets to Hell,
it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are  leaving.
As for how many souls are entering Hell,
let's look at the different  religions
that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state  that,
if you are not a member of their religion,
you will go to Hell.

Since there is more than one of these religions and
since people do not  belong to more than one religion,
we can project that all souls go to  Hell.
With birth and death rates as they are,
we can expect the number  of souls in Hell to
increase exponentially. Now,
we look at the rate of  change of the volume in Hell.
Because Boyle's Law states that in order  for the
temperature and pressure in Hell to stay constant,
the volume  of Hell must expand
proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than
the rate at which souls  enter Hell,
then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
until all Hell breaks loose. 

2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than
the increase of souls in  Hell, then the
temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes  over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Sandra
during my freshman  year,
that "it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you,
" and  take into account the fact that I slept with her last night,
then number  2 must be true,
and thus I am sure that Hell is endothermic
and has  already frozen over. 

The corollary of this theory is that since
Hell has frozen over, it  follows that it is not accepting
any more souls and is extinct...
leaving  only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a
divine being - which  explains why, last night,
Sandra kept shouting "Oh my God." 


THIS STUDENT RECEIVED THE ONLY "A".